Those Were the Days, My Friend

I miss the mothership. It's party season, and I want to have a party. I've been going to parties and they are fun, but also a drag because one must remember to pocket enough money to get home, and one must remember not to leave things behind.... at your own house, you can just go hug the porcelain god for 45 minutes and crawl to bed. Much more dignified.

Christmas.
I don't want to come across as bah, humbug, but I am not feeling it this year. I eschew present exchanges, mainly because i cannot afford to buy presents. i despise the emphasis on consumerism. i still owe dal two grand.

i am quite psyched to hang out with the folks, and mw, and my brother. there will be good food - this is a bonus. many hours of laundry. this is a bonus. however, many days of driving, entertaining, driving, being entertained. not enough time for board games, cable and sleep. stop complaining.

New Year's.
resolutions. i am tired of them. i make them every day of the year and break them as regularly. i have some new leaves i am turning over with the start of the new semester. i will keep them to myself. then nobody can call me on failure.

Love.
this is a recurring theme. maybe not on this blog, but definitely in my head. i am lonely. in a way that is hard to describe to people who are not alone. and i resent the bitterness that stems from loneliness. a vicious circle.

Auld Lang Syne.
New year's eve should be fun. i love to wear fancy dresses and sparkly jewelry and drink gin. however, i think this year i will mark the transition here - at the velvet underground. likely by myself. maybe i will dress up and take some photos. this is the reality of the 30 year old singleton. pretty sad.

Misc.
I was hit on by 3 different men this weekend. one 40-something married guy (not my type). one 20-something college kid (not my type). and one guy probably my age at a bus stop who was very concerned about the prevalence of HIV in nova scotia. (i told him i was on my way to my boyfriend's house for dinner).

too picky?
i don't think so.

Brain is scattered. not much else to say. haven't really said anything.

happy holidays.